137. Jacked
Amy walks over and takes a look at the curious hybrid. The plaque beneath the head reads “Great North American Jackelope.” Amy snorts derisively.
“Really? I expected better of a hunter with this pedigree. Jackelopes are cryptozoological creatures that exist to sell postcards and poorly-stitched-together souvenirs to gullible tourists driving through the Southwest.”
“Oh yeah!” squeaks a voice that could only have come from the mythological beast, “YOU'RE a cryptozoological creature that exists to sell postcards and poorly-stitched-together souvenirs to gullible tourists driving through the Southwest!”
Amy is taken aback by this outburst but, given the events of this evening, can't say she's altogether surprised. She decides to pick a fight with the jackelope. “Nonsense! All you are is a jack rabbit with antlers glued to your forehead.”
“Oh yeah?!” shouts the jackelope. It then starts rocking its head back and forth on its mounting board, trying to get free.
Amy can only laugh at this pathetic display. “What are you going to do if you ever get down from there? Nibble me to death?”
“Just you wait and see!” The jackelope keeps lunging and, surprisingly, manages to dislodge itself from its perch. It falls to the ground, whacking Amy in the head with its antlers along the way.
“OWWWWW!” shouts Amy as she reels backwards, “You son of a-”
But before Amy can finish her outburst, the jackelope head darts up from where it landed on the ground and sinks its teeth into Amy's neck. Amy's eyes go wide as she grips the jackelope and tries to pull it off of her, but it's no use; the thing has caught tight. It begins nibbling through her neck with blinding speed.
In less than a minute, it's over. Amy's headless torso drops to the ground, while her head flies through the air, landing on a table with a look of dull surprise plastered on her face. Satisfied that its work is done, the jackelope returns to its place on the wall.
Soon it is joined by a companion. Amy's head is mounted on the wall, still looking shocked at her strange fate. Beneath her head is a plaque that reads, “Great North American Jack-Ass.”
Amy is in no condition to continue this adventure or her life.