320. Caught Flat
Amy sticks around to listen to the music. It's a jaunty tune, and she soon finds herself stomping her feet and clapping along. The instruments, however, insist on marching around the room, and they keep marching into her. First she's bowled over by a kettle drum from behind, then as she's standing up a trombone conks her on the head. She's just about made her way to her feet when a tuba blasts right into her face, temporarily deafening her.
Amy holds her hands to her ears, but the musical onslaught continues. Two picolos whack into her butt, a trumpet sucker punches her in the gut, an English horn socks her in the face. Battered and bruised, face marred by a black eye and disheveled hair, Amy finally gets back up to her feet and at last seems to have found a safe spot.
And then a great pair of cymbals crashes into the sides of her head, pressing it flat.
Amy enjoys a brief period with a head that looks not unlike a two-headed quarter. Then her body's need for constant orders from her now-flattened brain reasserts itself and she falls over, dead.
Amy is in no condition to continue this adventure or her life.