54. Dye Job
“I don't want to lose my pubes because I totally just died them!” Amy lies. Maybe this will make Stacy think that Amy's cool and get Stacy to back off pouring hot wax onto Amy's crotch.
“Really?” asks Stacy, “'Cause that looks like your natural hair color.”
“Oh,” replies Amy, trying to think of a plausible new lie to add to the web, “Well, it matches my hair now, but that's just because I... just died my head-hair back to brown, and I needed my pubes to match.” Phew!
“Oh, cool! What color was it before?”
“Ummmm....” Amy tries to think up a suitably impressive color to a teen like Stacy, “It was purple! Yeah, like, bright neon purple. It was, um...” Amy struggles to find the right word to relate to Stacy, “Righteous?”
Despite the antiquated lingo, Stacy seems to buy it. “Wow, that's cooooool! You should put it back! It sounds like it was totally cooler before!”
Fearing more make-over horror, Amy tries to put a stop to this line of thinking. “Oh, but I, like, JUST dyed it, so I don't think I can dye it again so soon.”
Stacy thinks, then brightens up. “Sure, if you're using dye. But I can just magically change your hair color, like I did to my hair earlier!”
Before Amy can protest, Stacy snaps her fingers and every hair on her body turns neon purple. Amy looks at herself in one of the wall mirrors and nearly cries. Why did she have to say purple? She loved her brown hair!
After a moment's grief, Amy composes herself. Maybe there's room for compromise...
“Dude, that's radical! That's just like my hair used to be! But, umm, you know, I have to, like, talk to Boswell, and he can be such a drag...”
This seems to get Stacy going. “Oh my God, totally, Boswell is the WORST. I wish he would just, like, die already. He should be executed for crimes against fun.”
“Yeah, for sure,” Amy realizes she is now talking like a ninja turtle. Better readjust the word choice again. “But, like, I need to be on his good side, you know? And I just don't think he's be down with an awesome hair style like this, you know?”
“Totally. Okay, well, I can change your head-hair back, but you HAVE to leave your pubes, otherwise I won't have made over ANYTHING about you!”
Amy closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “This is for Shannon,” she tells herself. Finally she speaks. “Okay, you can leave the pubic hair purple, but I'm bored of make-overs now. Can we just have some girl talk for a while?”
Stacy smiles. “Alright, I was getting sick of make-overs, anyway.” She snaps her fingers.
Amy looks in a mirror to verify that her hair is, in fact, back to its natural shade of brown. A sullen glance downward verifies that, true to Stacy's word, Amy's crotch remains a tacky nonsense. “Note to self,” she thinks, “when you get out of this, ask Shannon about pubic hair dyes, pick up something in your hair color on the drive home.” Amy is NOT going to risk anyone else seeing this atrocity.
Returning to the task at hand, Amy looks up and discovers that Stacy is now wearing a light pink tanktop and hot pink pajama shorts. Stacy drops down to sit cross-legged on the floor. Amy feels a rustle and discovers that she is now dressed in a similar outfit, with a light blue tank and dark blue pajama shorts. Amy joins Stacy on the floor.
“So,” Stacy says, “Who do you want to dish about?”