77. The Viennese Dip
Amy quickly decides that a waltz must be four beats. She starts doing a simple box step. Her partner is moving much faster, and they're soon out of sync.
“What are you doing? You're moving much to slowly!” he sneers under his breath.
Amy isn't one to take criticism well. “No, you've got it wrong! You're going too fast!”
The couple keep stepping on one another's toes, colliding with other couples, and generally making a hash of the whole dance. Soon the entire ballroom has stopped dancing to stare at the ongoing catastrophe.
“You are humiliating me! I have never been so embarrassed!” Amy's partner snarls.
“This wouldn't be happening if you would just dance to the right time!” Amy retorts, though by now she realizes that she's way off the beat of the song.
“When the song ends after the next bar, I'm going to toss you. It's my best move, and hopefully will save some face.”
Amy nods, glad this is almost over. “Okay, on four. One, two, three-”
At three, the song ends and the ethereal dancer tosses the entirely unprepared Amy. She barely manages to land on her feet and finds herself sliding across the floor again, this time backwards.
CRASH!
Amy slams through the plate-glass window and falls ass-first into the lagoon that lies just outside the window. To be more specific, Amy lands ass-first into the mouth of the yawning crocodile that had been waiting just outside the window. The crocodile was pleasantly surprised to find a tasty morsel had dropped right into its mouth. It makes quick work of Amy.
A week later, all that remains of poor Amy is a long, tubular lump of greasy brown alligator scat, decorated with an apparently indigestible scrap of her heart-print panties. The assembled guests, when discussing Amy's unfortunate debut in later years, would agree that the transformation could not possibly have rendered her a worse dancer than she already was.
Amy is in no condition to continue this adventure or her life.