191. Tied Up in Knots
If horror movies have taught Amy one thing, it’s that mad scientists are generally up to no good, particularly when it comes to attractive young ladies like herself. “And Shannon!” Amy thinks to herself, “I wonder if this freak did something to her!” Amy looks again at the metal tables with the manacles and can feel her temper rising. She images all the horrible things that could happen to someone once strapped onto one of those things. She notes the various tongs, electrodes, chemicals, and wicked-looking machinery positioned around the tables, then imagines them being used on her poor friend.
“If that crazy old bastard hurt one hair on Shannon’s head…” Amy resolves to put an end to his madness. She pulls out her pocket knife and readies it in her hand. “He doesn’t seem so tough. I can probably beat him in a fight, particularly if I have a knife to threaten him with. In fact…” she muses, “he seems like a nerdish type. Ignoring, for the moment, the fact that I am also somewhat the nerdish type, perhaps I could intimidate him with a display of force. A loud noise, a brandished knife, a crazed woman running at him. He’ll be cowering on the floor and I can ask him anything I want! And maybe put the boot in him a few times for Shannon!” Amy decides that this is the best plan she’s ever had. She takes a deep breath, counts to three, then starts running.
“YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHH!”
Amy runs straight for the old man, her knife held high in the air, pointed forward, her eyes wide, screaming a battle cry. The old man turns around and looks startled. He rears back in fear. “Just like I thought!” thinks Amy.
“YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHH!”
Amy continues her charge, now about a third of the way across the lab. The old man begins fumbling in his lab coat. He drops something heavy onto the floor. Amy wonders what it could be, but decides she’d rather find out after she has it under her control and has the man subdued.
“YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHH!”
Amy is now halfway across the room. The man stoops down and picks up the device, which seems to be some kind of remote control. He squints at the device and begins searching for a button to push.
“YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHH!”
Amy is two-third of the way across the room. With a panicked look on his face, the old man stabs at the remote. Suddenly Amy’s field of vision is awash in pink. It looks like a wall of energy has materialized right in front of her! She tries to slow herself to avoid it, but it’s too late! Her momentum carries her through and… the world is back to normal. Amy stops. The knife is still in her hand. The man is still staring at her with fear in his eyes, but his lip slowly turns upward into a triumphant grin. Amy notices that she feels a bit chilly. She looks down.
“I’m NAKED! What the HELL?!” Amy quickly tries to cover herself up. Her right hand darts to her crotch, while she tries to position her left arm across her chest so as to cover her breasts. In her scramble to protect her modesty, Amy lets go of the knife and it goes scuttling across the floor.
“Yes, quite naked, young lady. I’m actually glad you showed up; it gave me an opportunity to field-test my new anti-burglary system. Sadly, it only works on criminals with a certain base level of modesty. Such as yourself.” As the man goes on, Amy notices that her head feels somewhat… different. She can’t put her finger on what feels strange, and she certainly doesn't want to move her hands to find out. She tries looking upward, but nothing presents itself as unusual.
“Ah, yes, you’re wondering about your hair. It’s been vaporized, along with your clothes.”
“I’m BALD?!” Without thinking, Amy’s hands fly to her head to confirm that she is, indeed, as smooth as a cue ball up top. She notices the man’s eyes darting downward and quickly re-covers herself. In doing so, she notes that her pubic hair is also missing in action.
“Indeed. My device creates a field that instantly destroys all dead organic matter, such as clothing, hair, and dead skin cells. If you care to feel yourself, you’ll find you’ve received a complete body exfoliation. I’ve been considering patenting the device for spas, but I’m afraid most people have a silly sentimental attachment to their hair that would render the device commercially unviable.”
Amy furrows her now-hairless brow. She declines to feel her skin; she decides she’d rather not give the old pervert the satisfaction of feeling herself up for his pleasure.
“Now then, since you’ve been so good as to help me test one of my devices, I’ve no more need for you as a test subject. Fred will take care of you now.” The man turns back to his work with a dismissive wave.
“Fred? Who’s- GURK!” Amy is abruptly introduced to Fred when a large green hand grasps her around the neck from behind and hoists her into the air. Another hand reaches down and grabs her ankles. The two hands then begin twisting in opposite directions.
Amy’s eyes roll back in her bald head as she feels her body being twisted into a long, thin rope. Her bones are ground to a fine powder as her body yields to the superior strength of the giant green homunculus. Finally, Amy’s body reaches the limits of its elasticity and the giant can twist no further. From there, he bends the two ends together, twirls them around, and forms Amy into the shape of a pretzel. Pleased with himself, Frank makes his way back to his bunk to hang Amy up with the rest of his collection of twisted interlopers. Amy’s last thought as she falls unconscious is “I hope he doesn’t put those big salt crystals on me. I hate salty pretzels…”
Amy is in no state to continue this adventure or her life.